You have a unique first name. I probably would have found you at some point, but you kind of made it easy for me when you went to prison a few years ago for dealing drugs.
So there you are – my sons biological Mother, with a profile on Facebook that doesn’t hide much. I know so much about you – and you don’t have a clue who I am.
I know about your four kids, my sons siblings…You don’t have them anymore. I’m sorry.
He’s doing well – the son you gave birth to a little over 11 years ago. He’s handsome, makes friends easily, never has a bad word to say about anyone, and he has a pure heart. He’s good at art and music. He’s a gifted athlete – maybe he gets it from you. God he’s fast.
He struggles with his reading – and we try to help. It’s scary – because with every passing month it becomes more troubling. Why can’t he close the gap? So many people are trying to help – and he does make progress, but he can’t break through. But he tries – and somehow you just know that it’s going to be all right.
He dreams of playing soccer at Lafayette. I don’t know if that desire will hold or if he’s got the skills on the field to make it so, but I won’t let him fail him academically, I promise you that.
My life has been shaped by your decision in more ways that you can imagine.
I stayed in my marriage long after it was dead because of you. I felt like you wanted your son to have a complete family. And so I stayed in a completely dysfunctional situation for several years even though the situation was irreparable.
I’m not saying that because I blame you. I just want you to know I tried. And I’m sorry that I didn’t give him what I implicitly promised when I adopted him – that I would give him a stable, 2 parent home.
He doesn’t ask about you. We’ve never had any discussion about him being adopted. He called me Dad from the moment he could talk. I didn’t feel any need to give him a qualifier to that label. I have found out that a lot of people who don’t know the whole story just assume that his biological Mom is black – they don’t give much thought to the possibility that I might not be his biological Father.
Oh, the conversation will come someday. And I promise you this: When I speak of you it will be in the most glowing of terms.
The beauty of it is – I won’t be lying.
Yes, you made some mistakes. The righteous would point to what you did and cite you as a despicable person. You went to jail, you lost your kids.
I knew all that years ago – but I never lost faith in you. You could never convince me that someone inherently bad could produce a child so pure.
Redemption. It’s one of my favorite words. We all love a good redemption story.
And you’re putting one on.
I see you have another son now. So Jojo has at least 5 siblings. But that’s not important – what is important is you’ve turned your life around.
You post so often – and your posts are always about how proud you are of your son. I can tell you cherish him. I can tell you’re doing all you can to make sure you get this one right. It looks like you found a good man as well. I’m so happy for you.
I know how people make up different personas on Facebook – but I don’t doubt your sincerity. I don’t doubt your love. I know you’re working hard at Amazon. I know you are giving your son opportunities and making a good life for him.
I worry about your other kids – and I know you do too. If they have your spirit, your fight, they’ll be OK.
Maybe we’ll meet someday. I’ll leave that up to my son. I hope he decides he wants to meet you. In the meantime, thank you for giving me a window into your life. And thank you for being selfless enough to allow me to become his Dad.
Love,
Aaron
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