To the High School Graduating Class of 2016....

In the spirit of the fabulous song Don’t Forget to Wear Sunscreen – I offer the following tidbits of advice to the high school graduatinng class of 2016.

•   For the next three years of your life you’re going to be old enough to die for your country but too young to drink a beer. This is not a sudden realization you came up with – and nobody cares.

• Look for the absolute best in everyone you meet. Sometimes you’ll have to look awfully hard.

• Cynicism is the easiest of school of thought to take – anyone can do it. Rise above it.

•  If you order a shake at an ice cream place – be extra good to the person who has to make it. Shakes really screw up the flow. The same rule applies to ordering anything that needs to be heated at Subway, anything that involves cooking an egg at Dunkin Donuts, or asking the bartender to make you a Long Island Iced Tea. Find the tip jar in all of these situations!

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   The first friends you need to make at college are the janitors and the cafeteria staff. You can worry about finding a BFF in the second semester.

•  You’re going to make some mistakes worthy of a Dr. Phil show in your life. Try and stay off Jerry Springer and Maury.

• Nobody has ever changed their mind about a political issue based on something posted on Facebook – for the love of God don’t add to the problem by commenting.

• Don’t believe that crap that our generation is somehow tougher, smarter or in any way better than yours. When I was in high school a select few seniors took calculus, gays were mocked and ridiculed openly and yes – we used snow days regularly. You guys are way the hell ahead of us.

•   Until you have a good explanation for a collective conscience, don’t mock anyone who believes in a loving God.

•   45% of America is always going to vote Republican, 45% is always going to vote Democrat. Be one of the 10% that don’t blindly follow what the memes from partisan websites are preaching.

•  Be wary whenever someone cites “States rights” as justification for their cause – they’re virtually always on the wrong side of history.

•   Find something to love – be it music, art, sports, gardening, or whatever – and do it whether or not the world thinks you’re good at it or not.

•  It is perfectly acceptable to cry when you’re favorite football team runs a draw on 3^rd and 12. Along those same lines, there’s no such thing as too much rage if your linebackers get sucked into chasing the quarterback on what is clearly a screen.

•  To the young men in the audience: Hair is important to women. Make mental notes of it every day and be quick to let them know if one strand is going in a different direction. I really can’t overstate the importance of this.

• Kids between 5 and 10 can spot phonies better than anybody. Trust their judgment.

•  Volunteers make the world go round. Everyone has a gift – use yours.

•  Becoming a teacher is an option available to virtually all of you right now. If that’s what you want to do – do it. If you choose not to do it, don’t spend the rest of your life bitching about how “easy” you think they have it. 

hHave I missed any life rules that you find equally - if not MORE important than these nuggets?! Drop me a line or comment below  - or on Facebook. Maybe I'll update!